


What am I doing?

by RevisionaryHistory



Series: The Care and Feeding of Nathan [8]
Category: Nathan Sykes (Musician), Nathan Sykes - Fandom, The Wanted (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:53:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RevisionaryHistory/pseuds/RevisionaryHistory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nathan and Kristin cross a line</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

~*~Kristin~*~

I hate doing lesson plans. Necessary evil, but boring as hell. So to say I was happy about being distracted by a phone call would be an understatement. I had no idea who it was. Actually, I had no idea what this ringtone was. Picked up my phone, looked at the screen, and started laughing. Apparently I left my phone out and a certain boy had taken a picture of himself and changed his ringtone. I was still laughing as I answered, "What music is this?"

"Oh yeah," he snickered; “it's the theme song from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Used to love that cartoon."

"Nice picture, too." It was him eyes closed and lips puckered.

"I try. You should never leave your phone unlocked around any of us."

Lindsey had told me how they abuse each other on Twitter when they get a hold of each other's phones. "I'll remember that."

"Thought about a naked one, but was worried one of the kids at school would see."

"Oh yeah, are you the dirty picture type of guy?"

Silence. "Maybe not." I liked the sound of us laughing together. "Fun idea though. What are you up to?"

This was a strange phone call. Unusual. More friend like. Chatty. 

Could mean a couple of things. He might just be bored. Max might've been giving him some shit. He was anxiously trying to ask something. Or he's becoming attached.

Those were my preferred order. That last one is bad. I’d given that thought since Max’s "warning". I tried not to let that get in my brain, but it's hard. Because regardless of if Max is right or not, nothing he said wasn't the truth. Nathan is young. Nathan is less experienced. Sigh. Nathan's response was true as well: We have talked about it. We have been clear about what this is. Of course, that was before we even kissed. Before necessity kept us both sober and we had a good time in Vegas. Before that kiss (and every one since) that curled my toes. Before sex. Before I knew he was a very nice guy, who despite what we are not, treats me better than the one that I was supposedly everything to.

The conclusion I keep coming to is that I'm at risk for becoming attached. I'm not at all sure if I'm okay with that. That is not what I wanted. A lot of this, of Nathan, has been unexpected. In a good way. Still, I'm not sure I want that. I don't think I want to be attached. Sometimes what you don't want is what you get.

We talked and laughed for several minutes before reason number three became the front runner. "Didn’t you say you had a week off sometime soon?"

"Fall break. Halloween week."

"Perfect!" He sounded excited now, anxiety gone. "I'll be in London. Come over."

Did not expect that. "What?" I'm not sure if I'm uncertain or buying time.

"Ideal time. We're not too busy, but have a gig. Time for sightseeing. You said you haven’t been here, right?"

I was talking slow, thinking as I went, "No, have not been to London. I always wanted to."

"So come over and you'll get a knowledgeable tour guide, a great concert, and mind blowingly fantastic sex. What more could you want for a vacation?"

Either the excitement in his voice or that he made a good argument won me over, "Okay." 

"Brilliant. Get here Sunday and have you home the next Sunday. Or do you need Saturday so you can get ready for school?"

"No, we're off on Monday." Wait. He's booking my flight? "Nathan ..."

"Done! I'll email the itinerary. Just say thank you, Nathan."

He's oh so proud of himself, “Thank you, Nathan."

"Good girl. I'll reward you with kisses."

That made me laugh, "Shouldn’t I be giving you kisses?"

"I'll let you."

We talked a while longer, making tentative plans, things he wanted to show me and things I wanted to see. I didn't want to do nonstop tourist crap. I wanted to wander and soak up the culture. He assured me that part was easy.

Going to London; paying for me going to London is very odd. Not bad, not good, just odd. I didn't know what to make of it. 

Time to call Lindsey.

"What am I doing?"

"Woo hoo, a quiz. It's Sunday, so I'll say you're nursing a hangover and working on lesson plans, maybe trying to blow off texts from the guy you didn't let stay last night."

She knows me well, "More or less, but missing the important part. I just got off the phone with Nathan. I'm going to London for break. What am I doing?"

"Wow." Yep, it's as bad as I thought. I left her speechless. "You like him."

"I don't know if I'm okay with that."

"And why are you going to London?”

"Always wanted to go to London?” Even I wasn't buying that.

"No, that would be a shitty thing to do. You’re relationship phobic, not a bitch."

This is true. Although often they appear to be the same thing. Easier to be a bitch than explain the other. "I don't know why. Because he asked me too?"

"That sounds more realistic. Maybe you should tell him why you want nothing but sex from him or why you're terrified to want more?"

"Ouch."

"You don't call me if you want handholding."

I laughed, “Maybe this time I did." Silence. "Fine, I didn't."

"How long are you going for and who paid?"

I took a deep breath, "The week. He did."

"Aw, Kristin, you wouldn't have agreed to that if you didn't like him. Random weekend on tour is one thing. A week in his hometown is another."

"He doesn't live in London."

"A lot of the time yes he does. You keep trying to find a way out, a way for this not to mean something."

"What's it mean?"

"It means you're going to have to tell him why or cut him loose."

"That's what I thought it meant."

"What are you going to do?"

One of the best things about our friendship is our ability to tolerate silence. Long silence. "Go to London and see if I'm brave enough or not. Just because I tell him doesn't mean I spill everything or that it means anything."

"No, but it's a step in that direction."

Nathan and I didn't talk again until I left. That was good. It let me slip back into a comfortable place where things with "us" were not an "us". So fucking conflicted.

 

~*~Nathan~*~

What am I doing? I am feeling like some sort of a king. Maybe a Greek god. I knew that I was breaking all sorts of rules. A week is too long for a simple sex date. Me buying her plane ticket. I don't know what rule that breaks, but it has to break some sort of "we’re not dating" rule. And we're not dating, but… hell, I don't know. I want to see her and not just for the sex. I can get sex. I do get sex, but I’d rather be getting my sex from her. I like her outside of the sex. I think so anyway.

We didn’t talk anymore until right before she was to leave. Me meeting her at the airport is a no go. She gets in super early anyway. What idiot scheduled her flight? Oh yeah, me.

I met the guys in London on Saturday. We're all bunched together on the same floor of the hotel. We dumped our shit in our rooms and headed out to dinner and a club. I knew what was coming and set up leaving her key at the front desk. Texted her. Chances of me being drunk and barely in bed when she arrives are high.

"She's flirting, mate. Case you missed it again." Max snickered and looked at Jay.

"Ha fucking ha. I know. I'm not interested."

Tom brought back more beers, "Why the hell not?"

"Kristin will be here in the morning. I'll wait." I gulped down my beer to hide my smile. I failed.

Jay stopped drinking, "Aw, baby Nayf,"

Max was flipping my ear and finished Jay’s sentence, "is becoming attached."

I shook my head, "Not really. Nothing’s changed." I wasn’t lying. I was stretching the truth. "Yes, I like her, but nothing has changed. We're still nothing."

“But you want it to be something?"

"I'm not sure." That's not right. "I don't know." Better. "Maybe?" I'm going to get it now. 

Jay messed up my hair, "You don't have to know."

That was easier than I expected, "That's it? I don't have to know?"

Max rolled his eyes, "No, stupid boy. You're either going to lose your fuck buddy or become pussy whipped after her visit. How long is she staying?"

"A week."

Tom cackled, "Gotta respect your total lack of fear."

"What am I supposed to be afraid of? Her walking away?"

They all looked at me, "Her not walking away."

Pretty sure I passed out after falling onto my bed.

Oh god, it felt good. Someone was kissing my neck. Wow. Mmmm, so good. I love drunken hallucinations. Fantastic. 

It was too bright in the room. Did I really leave the drapes open? I yanked the duvet over my head and flipped onto my stomach. Hang on, someone was on my couch? I threw the cover back and raised my exploding head. Oh yeah! I smiled and my head instantly stopped hurting, “Ello.”

The very pretty girl looked over at me, head turned to the side, “Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

I stretched lazily, “When did you get here?”

“About two hours ago.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?” I pushed up where I was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I tried. You weren’t having any of it.” Kristin put down what she was reading and headed toward me.

“I thought that was a dream.” I shook my head. Even in sleep I can manage to be dense. “Sorry, I’ve wasted part of your day.” She knelt in front of me and I pulled my fingers through her long blond hair.

“Don’t be. I’ve been looking through travel stuff and watching you sleep. Mostly watching you sleep. You’re cute.” 

I like when she smiles at me. “You have the most amazing blue eyes.” It occurred to me that she’d not had a proper greeting. I hugged her, her head on my bare chest. Her hair was silky soft against my skin. Felt wonderful. “Welcome to London. What do you want to do first?” 

“You.”

“I basically live here, you pick.”

I felt her hands slip in the sides of my boxers, “That is me picking.”

I ran the last bit of conversation back. What do you want to do? You. Oh. It’s like when I asked twitter what I should do today and got back a thousand replies of “me”. I missed that too. “Do you think there will ever come a time when I don’t make an arse of myself in front of you?”

“What are you talking about?” She kissed my chest and I made a little noise.

“First I sleep through your attempts to wake me and then miss a perfectly clear innuendo.” I noticed her hands were on my ass. 

Her eyes met mine, “I hope not. Your cluelessness is one of my favorite things. It’s adorable.”

“I don’t think adorable is what I want to be.”

She pushed me back on the bed, pulling my boxers off and laying on me, “Yes, it is.”

For the next hour I was convinced that adorable is the best thing to be. Ever.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~Nathan~*~

Oh good god, what am I doing? 

The week had been so good. We’d run around like tourists, hung out like locals, and partied like rock stars. Kristin had gone with me to the studio and wandered off on her own. One afternoon she got on the tube and just got off when she felt like and wandered around. It’s been fun to see the pictures she takes. She got an amazing picture of a century old church reflected on the side of a mirrored high rise. Every day we’d wind up at Tower Bridge. That was part of day one sightseeing and she had fallen in love. I’d never seen her so excited. She was in absolute awe of something I don’t pay much attention to anymore. I guess when you see something all the time it becomes common. Not anymore. She loved it even more at night, so I made sure we at least drove by. 

But back to now. I got a phone call on Tuesday that I needed to approve the plans for the cabinets for my house and get them a check. Something about the countertops and the manufacturer taking a month off and not taking new orders until spring. Really? So either right now or don’t worry about it until next summer. That wasn’t acceptable. I agreed to meet the contractor at my house Wednesday afternoon. Quick trip to Gloucester for the day. Kristin reiterated her want to not just do tourist stuff and thought a day trip driving across the country sounded perfect. 

Enter my baby sister, Jessica. 

Jessica and I get on great, but we are still brother and sister, so when she saw a picture of me coming out of a restaurant in London holding hands with a beautiful blonde she showed mom. I didn’t know this until we were halfway to Gloucester and I called mom to let her know I was buzzing through to sign papers, would stop for a quick visit, and then be back to London. Mom said, “Good, you can tell me all about the pretty blonde you’ve been spotted with. Jessica has shown me pictures on twitter.”

“Actually, as I was just about to say, Kristin is with me.” Just lied to my mom. I was intentionally not telling her in order to avoid the next sentence.

“Then you’ll stay for dinner. No argument.”

I started to argue then realized it wouldn’t really get me anywhere. “Sounds lovely, see you in a couple of hours.” I hung up and looked at Kristin, “Mom wants us to have dinner. I’m sorry.”

She smiled at me with a raised eyebrow, “You neglected to tell her I was coming.”

I shook my head, “I neglected to tell her I was coming. Love my family, but was planning on signing off on things and leaving. And this isn’t a dinner with the parent’s situation.” I had banked on the brevity of the visit to ward off too many questions. Harder to do over dinner. Oh crap. “I’ve not hurt your feelings have I?”

Strangely enough that got me a kiss, “Not at all. You could have just asked me to stay in London. I would have been fine on my own.”

“Considered it, but I thought a road trip would be fun. Plus I want to show off my house. I’m having mom’s remodeled and I still really live there. Mine is coming along much more slowly. No rush.” I yammered on for a long while about what I was doing to both houses. “Oh, you’ll get to meet my dog! Do you like dogs? Have a cat too.”

“I’d love to have a dog, but with school and how I like to travel that wouldn’t work.”

She was smiling at me again, “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t believe you.” That smile was one that said something was going through her mind.

“I like how you jump topics when something strikes you. Conversation about construction then excited because I’ll meet your dog.”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, I have the attention span of a child.”

“Neither what I said nor what I meant.” She pointed to a petrol station, “Pull over I need the loo.” 

I filled up the car while she ducked inside. I contemplated ways to torture and eventually kill my sister. I was leaning against her door when she came back carrying a bag, “What have you bought?”

“Snacks.” She stopped me from opening her door and put down the bag before pressing her body against mine. “I needed this too.” She wrapped her arms around my neck as we kissed. “I do not think of you as a child, Nathan. Children don't kiss like you kiss me. You're a man. Yes, you're young and have some young qualities, but you need to understand I like that. I don't see that as a negative."

I took her pause as an opportunity to kiss her. "Thank you."

She kissed my cheek and hugged me, "Your age doesn't make you less in my eyes. If I tease and make comments it's not meant badly, it's more of a compliment."

"Too touchy? With the four idiots, we’re always taking the piss and instantly defending yourself is second nature"

She pulled back, putting her hands on my face, "I wanted to make sure you understood where I was coming from."

Embarrassing admission time, "I didn't, so thank you." We kissed a bit more then got back on the road. We were only fifteen minutes out.

First stop was my house. Right now the only work had been going on inside and not much of that. Outside was kind of trashed. Construction dumpster set to the side, windows were filthy, and a good power wash was needed. "Definitely bought a fixer upper. I’ve loved this house forever. The old man who lived here let it go."

Kristin got out of the car and walked into the weed filled yard, looking over my house, then turning to me, "I love it, Nathan. I think creek stone houses are so cute. I don't know architecture at all, but I like the pointy roof over the windows. Do the rooms upstairs have the slanty ceilings?" 

I took her hand, "Let me give you the tour and you'll see." As I unlocked my front door I felt very proud and very adult. I liked those feelings. When I open the door I felt excited and young, but knew it was okay, even good. "Not much is done, so be kind."

Realistically the only thing that was done was the gutting. Carpets and vinyl flooring were gone, so it’s all plywood underfloor right now. I explained that and the rest as we walked through. The paneling in the family room was gone, leaving no walls at all. The wall between the kitchen and dining room had been knocked down. I want a large eat in kitchen with a breakfast bar. The kitchen still had working appliances that would eventually be replaced. I was having in addition put on to expand the family room. We walked down to the basement, which was unfinished and explained my plans for a music and game room down there.

I heard a voice as we came back up. Roger, my contractor, was in the kitchen. I introduced Kristin before Roger went over the plans. Everything we discussed changing was done. He brought samples and pictures of the wood and countertops. I signed off and gave the check before seeing him out.

"Nathan, this is going to be amazing."

"Thanks. Upstairs?"

"Race you!" She took off up the stairs and ran into the smallest of the bedrooms. A full bath joined it to another guest bedroom. Nice set up. More gutted rooms.

My bedroom was the only part of the house even remotely close to finished. I pulled out my keys, "The real door won't have a keyed lock, but for now it's the only room close to done. I have stuff in here." I felt nervous. No one besides my family had seen my house and this is personal space. I started laughing as soon as I opened the door.

Kristin joined in, "Neglected to clean your room?"

"Obviously wasn't expecting company." I threw clothes into the basket in the corner, and tossed hats in that direction. "Well, you get the idea." I watched her finger the CDs and DVDs on the on the entertainment center.

 

~*~Kristin~*~

"I like the colors. I can see you here." I couldn't say it looked like him because I don't know him well enough. The carpet was light gray, the walls bright blue, and the comforter in both with splashes of red. I smiled at the slanted ceiling over the bed. That the room was littered with clothes and snap backs was endearing. He had way more patience than me. He was treating this like a long-term project where I’d be busting my ass to get it done. I guess he doesn't really have the ability to do that. "Thank you for showing me your house." This is the most personal side of him I’ve seen. Tour sex dates weren’t very personal. Home with him was. Standing there in his room in his unfinished house I wanted to tell him why I was terrified of wanting more than just sex. "Nath…"

I was interrupted by his phone. "Hang on, that's mom." I busied myself looking through CDs. Pretty even split between things I like in things I didn't. After telling her that he’d signed everything and we would be there soon he hung up, "Let's go. I'd like to show you around before dinner."

I didn't get to finish my previous thought and wondered if maybe that was for the best. After all, wanting more wasn't part of our agreement and the mention of it might make the rest of the week, not to mention dinner at mom’s, very uncomfortable. I don't know that I want more and it's a good bet that he doesn't. Too much opportunity out there for him.

Back in the car he talked nonstop, showing me around and sharing memories. Eventually we pulled into the driveway a house that looked like a happy family lived there. Garden gate, flowers, and shuttered windows. "You grew up here?"

"Moved here right after Jess was born so when I was three or four. Love this house."

"I can see why. It feels like home."

"Do your parents still live in the home you grew up in?" He didn't move to get out so neither did I.

I shook my head, "My parents died in a car crash." His face got that look that everyone’s does when you say your parents are dead. No one likes to think about that, so it's this mix of sad, fear, and pity. "Oh Kris, I'm sorry."

"Years ago. Happily married until the day they died."

He snickered, "Child of divorce here. They get along better now. Like them better apart. Neither remarried, but they both have long-term partners." He kissed my cheek, "Ready?"

As we got out of the car I had this feeling that we should've talked more about this. Before I got to the front door his mom opened it, "Hello, I'm Karen."

I could see some of Nathan’s features in her, but he must look more like his dad. Hair and skin color were all wrong. I held out my hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm Kristin."

"Didn't even give me a chance for the proper introduction," Nathan hugged and kissed her.

"Thought I was going to have to send your sister to the car to get you. Dinner's almost done."

I could tell, "It smells great."

"I wouldn't go to the car. God knows what I’d see." This one looked like mom.

"Ha ha, little sister." Nathan hugged her, "This brat is Jessica. Twitter stalker."

"Not really stalking when pictures are all over." She turned to me, "Nice to meet you. Ignore his rabid fan girls. You're probably quite nice and not out for him to help you with a music career."

"No, I like my job. It's not that."

Nathan headed towards the smell, "It's the sex."

All three of us yelled, "Nathan!" in varying tones of voice, then laughed.

A sing song voice answered, "Kidding." He picked up a fuzzball of a cat. "This is Tia. You’ll meet Harry after dinner."

Jessica went to put dinner on the table while Nathan and his mom showed me the house and what they had left to do here. "My room here is a construction zone, so I sleep in the attic room or at my house. To be honest the chaos is making me insane. Wish I could snap my fingers and have it all done."

Karen shook her head, "He told them to finish here first."

"Yeah, because we all live here. I'm never home to enjoy my own house. It'll get there."

"It's good for you to have your own space."

Jessica yelled that dinner was ready and we sat down. Through most of dinner conversation was the family catching up. Nathan included me, but I wasn't the center of attention.

I inadvertently changed that, "Dinner was wonderful. Thank you for going to all this trouble."

His mom nodded, "It's not Sunday, but you can never go wrong with roast and potatoes."

I'd never seen Nathan eat so much. He spoke between bites, "I miss Sunday roast more than anything."

This brought back good memories for me. "Sundays were my dad's day off. He was a chef. We’d always cook together. I cook a mean Chicken Parmesan with homemade pasta and Italian herb bread. That and beef bourguignon are my favorites to cook. My apartment smells so good with that cooking all day." I made a mental note to schedule a dinner party once I got home. I hadn't cooked for friends in a long time.

I didn’t know why, but the mood in the room took on a chill. Karen’s previously warm tone was gone, "Italian and French that’s some combination."

Did she think I was making it up, "Dad worked at an Italian place. My ex French. I picked up some of both."

"Are you a chef too?" That was Jessica

"No, I grew up watching all the hours and stress with dad at the restaurant. I never had that passion for cooking. Just a hobby."

Karen looked at Nathan, "How’s her cooking?"

I don't think Nathan noticed the undercurrent of that question. "Just had the Chicken Parmesan, which was delicious. Not a lot of opportunity, mostly seen each other on tour.”

She looked back to me, "So, what do you do, Kristin?"

Ah, now Nathan is with the program. He double blinked and startled. I caught it out of the corner of my eye and kept eye contact with his mom. "I teach high school. Psychology and engineering."

"So, teaching is your passion?"

Before I could answer Nathan spoke up, “Mom." The word was quiet and embarrassed.

"So, how old are you?"

"Alright mom, can I talk to you in the kitchen." He pushed away from the table, "Excuse us."

Jessica and I watched them go then looked at each other. She shrugged, "When mom starts sentences with “so” she's being judgey and disapproving."

I was very uncomfortable. I could hear the occasional word. My fave was "that woman." I put my napkin on the table, "How about you introduce me to Harry."

Jessica nodded and stood with me. She yelled to tell them where we were going. Once out the door she looked over her shoulder, "So, how old are you?"

I could tell by the mischievous twinkle in her blue eyes and the tone of her "so" that she was trying to make an awkward situation less. I laughed and pushed her, "I'm twenty five."

She sat on the ground and started laughing at the dog, rolling her eyes, "Max and Tom's age. Whatever. Harry this is Kristin."

I joined her on the ground, "Hey Harry, I've heard about you." The dog climbed into my lap and started licking my face. Nice that he liked me.

"In case you don't know my brother sleeps too much, takes too long on his hair, and drinks excessive amounts of tea."

I sighed, "Jessica, I can read that online. Give me something good here."

She laughed, “His feet are really ticklish. That's why he always leaves his socks on even running around inside. Socks on."

I grinned, "Thank you."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "Use my information wisely."

We were still laughing when I heard the back door. A quick glance confirmed it was Nathan. An obviously angry Nathan. Harry saw him and ran over, his tail wagging wildly. Nathan picked him up and got covered in kisses, "How's my boy? Yes, I missed you too." He plopped down next to me, "What are you girls talking about?"

"Telling secrets about you."

He glared playfully at his sister, "You best not be. I’ve had enough embarrassment for one day."

Jessica lay her head on his shoulder, "She doesn't like my boyfriend either."

I snickered, "Mom’s can be overprotective."

"Or just rude." There's a bite to his words that told me he was having difficulty holding it in. "You ready to go?"

"Whenever." I smiled, hoping to let him know I was fine. 

He gave his dog more kisses as he stood and before reaching hands down to me and his sister, "Come now, ladies." He put an arm around us both and headed back into the house.


	3. Chapter 3

~*~Nathan~*~

There’s nothing more I want than to be out of this house. Anywhere but here. I hated that. I led my sister and Kristin back through the house. My mom had actually thought we’d spend the night there. Ha! I hugged and kissed Jessica then headed out the front door. Once in the car I seethed quietly. White knuckles gripped the steering wheel and my whole body was tight. I was aware that I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t care. Couldn’t yet. Too mad. 

I pulled out of our neighborhood onto the main road when she spoke, “Where we going, Nath?”

I shook my head, “Too pissed to drive back to London. Get a hotel.”

“You have a house here. Remember?” Her voice was quiet and tone was calming. She wasn’t being a smartass, just reminding me.

I laughed and looked over, “No, I didn’t remember. I’m so fucking pissed! I understand some of her concern. I explained that it’s nothing serious and that only seemed to make it worse. I’m not sure if some of her questions were things she wanted to know or wondering if I knew the answers.” I imitated mom’s voice, “What on earth would a twenty five year old divorcee want with you?” Back to my voice, “Hell, I’m not sure if that’s more dismissive of me or you.”

Kristin interjected, “I’m not either.”

“And her behavior was just so rude. Her judgmental tone. The look on her face. Just incredible. I’m no longer sixteen.” I sighed, “I hope I have beer at home.” We were quiet for the last few minutes of the drive, which was nice. I felt calmer once home and even better after finding beer in the fridge. I’d barely had a drink when my phone went off. Dad’s ringtone, “What fresh hell is this? ‘Ello, dad.”

“Where are you, son?”

“My house.”

“Good, Uncle Rich and I are on our way to take you to the pub.”

“Oh no, this is not a good time.” Not a good time at all, for so many reasons.

“Perfect time. Just got off the phone with your mother and I need a drink. I’m sure you do and I won’t take you away from Kristin more than an hour. Promise.”

“Did mom yell at you too?”

“Especially after I told her you were old enough to fuck anyone you want.” 

My hand flew to my chest, “Oi, that’s . . . oh . . . okay, see you in a few.” I hung up, and drank more beer before filling in Kristin, “Dad and uncle on the way. Dad told mom I was old enough to fuck whoever I wanted.”

Kristin laughed, “I’m sure that went over well.” She walked to me and put her arms around me. “I’m sorry to have caused so much stress, Nath.”

I shook my head and kissed her, “No, not your fault. Her behavior was out of line and I should have thought this through better. You a’right here while I run out? He promised an hour at most.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll lie in your bed, drink beer, and watch British TV.”

There was a honk outside, “I’ll know where to find you.” I kissed her again then headed out.

Luckily they’d decided to stick to current events catch up whilst driving. I needed the breather. Beers in hand, we tucked into a corner for the inquisition. Uncle Rich was smirking, “Tell us about the bird?”

I drained half my pint, “Not tons to tell. She was on holiday in Florida at our hotel and met us after a gig. Had her out to Vegas, New York, went to Atlanta to see her, Dallas, and now here. She’s twenty five, divorced, and a teacher. Neither of us are looking for anything past sex and fun. I like her, she’s fun. It’s all good.” Really condensed.

“Nothing wrong with that. Older women are the best.” That was Uncle Rich again.

“She’s not that much of an older woman. Mom’s acting like she’s a thirty five year old single mom on the dole. Since when did twenty five qualify as older anything?”

“Since you’re only nineteen.” Uncle Rich was laughing, “You’re barely older than her students and I bet you’re her student too.”

That made me blush. Awkward conversation. Horrible.

My dad took pity on me, “That’s enough, Rich. Let me tell you a story. When I was eighteen I went to Spain for holiday with my mates and ended up staying the summer with my thirty-three year old lover.’

My mouth dropped open.

Uncle Rich continued, “When I was twenty three I lived with a thirty eight year old and her four year old son, Alex.”

“Alex?” I startled, “My mate, Alex?” He nodded. “His mom? Oh god.”

Dad picked up, “Sykes men are genetically predisposed to the lure of older woman. My dad, his dad. It’s our thing.”

“Welcome to the family, Nathan.” Uncle Rich tapped his glass to mine. “We’re all better off for it. You will be too.”

I snorted, “Already am. Jesus, why didn’t I know this? Never mind, why would I?”

My dad put his hand on my shoulder, “Your mom has preconceived ideas about older women. Even your twenty five year old. She thought mine took advantage of a young man for sex. Kept me as a sex toy.”

I cringed, “So my telling her it wasn’t a relationship really did make things worse.”

“Yeah, probably, but don’t delude yourself. It is a relationship.” I looked at him strangely, “Non-traditional, but still a relationship. Friends with benefits?”

I shook my head, “I wouldn’t even say we’re friends at this point.”

“Don’t talk enough, eh?”

I glared at my uncle, “We talk when we’re together, just not when we’re apart. It’s a situational thing.” I processed for a minute, “Is mom gonna calm down?”

“Yeah, but wouldn’t plan any more family dinners.”

We got more beer and they regaled me with dirty stories of their older women. I must admit they were somewhat similar to mine.

I headed up to my bedroom straight away. Between the beer at the house and the three at the pub I wasn’t concerned about my mother anymore. The dirty stories had my mind in a very good place. The woman in my bed was sure to keep it there. She was in one of my t-shirts. I guess she’d picked it up off the floor as neither had brought anything with us. “Never brought anyone back here and I come home to find you in my bed.” I pulled off my shirt and kicked off my shoes before climbing over her. 

She smiled and slid down to meet me, “Good visit with your dad?”

“I’ll tell you all about it later. Now.” I kissed her softly, “Can I have you? I really want you. Here. In my bed where no one else has ever been.” Do not underestimate the turn on factor with this.

“I like how you asked.” She pulled my hips down to hers, “You can have whatever you want. In your bed. Where no one has been before.” 

After I was done having my wicked way with her I propped up against the headboard, “I needed that.”

She laughed and shoved pillows behind her, turning on her side, “Had some tension to work off.”

I put my finger and thumb a centimeter apart, “A bit. Plus it was just good.” 

She leaned forward and kissed my arm, “Yes, it was. Broke in the bed.”

I smirked, “Brilliant.” I scooted down level with her to be able to lean in for a kiss. “Sure you want to hear this?”

“Only if you want to tell me.”

“Good answer.” I gave her the highlights and we laughed together at my genetic disorder. “I still argue that you’re not really an older woman, but whatever.”

“It’s more about your age than mine, Nathan. Teenager. Not teenager.” She pointed from me to her. “I like your younger qualities.”

“Like what?” This had the potential to be great or tragic.

The look on her face told me it was more likely to be great, “How you’re uncensored and natural. Unspoiled. The way you get embarrassed. And then there’s your energy and enthusiasm.” She smirked dirtily with the last one. I did too.

“I can live with that. Hopefully that embarrassing thing will go away with age.”

“Oh, I hope not.” She reached out and played in my hair. A definite memory of an embarrassing moment that made us both smile. 

She suddenly stopped playing in my hair and started talking. “I met Jason the first week of college. We didn’t hit it off at all. After winter break something changed and we became friends. Then after summer break something really changed and we started dating. We called it friends, but we were dating just without the kissing and sex. We’d go to the park and play, he worked at the game room and I learned to play ping pong, darts, and pool. I remember this awesome water gun fight at the fraternity house. I shot him and chased him around the house until he hid in his room. He left the door open enough for me to stick my hand in and shoot him. I did, and he took my gun. He didn’t know I had another one.”

I laughed. I could see her doing that. She’d planned ahead. I didn’t know where she was going, but something told me to just shut up and listen.

“We did all those things couples do, but we were just friends. When a bunch of us went to Lauderdale for spring break things changed again. We hit the strip the first night, both of us making out with other people. We’d both dated others, but for some reason this was different. I hated what I was doing and was jealous of the girl he was with. The next day we snuck onto a golf course and were being our normal goof off selves until he pulled a flower from a tree and put it in my hair. Everything changed in an instant. We added in the kissing and sex, and fell in love. We still ran around and played like kids. It was wonderful.” 

When she stopped to wipe away a tear I was completely mesmerized. This was why she wanted nothing from me, from anyone. She’d had something and it went wrong. I was afraid to know how. 

“We were that beautiful couple who were so crazy in love that everyone wanted to be them. We got engaged over Christmas senior year and were married the day after we graduated. It was the wedding I’d always dreamed of in the right place with the right dress with the right man. I thought. Things changed immediately. I thought it was both of us adjusting to being adults and being married. Reality was that now that he had me the chase was over and he didn’t have to try anymore. That took a long time to figure out and by the time I did I’d already chipped away at bits of myself to be what he wanted. We’d both changed. Only I’d changed to be closer to him and he’d changed to be further away. Since dad was a chef I knew they worked long hours and thought nothing of Jason’s schedule. I dropped by work one day to find him in a very intimate conversation with a hostess. She was me with dark hair and dark eyes. They were at the corner of the bar and he pushed her hair behind her ear, ran his fingers along her jaw, and tilted her face up to kiss her. Just like he’d done to me for the first time when he put a flower in my hair on a golf course in Ft. Lauderdale.”

This was a feeling I knew well. Song lyrics sprang to mind. “I can't believe I had to see the girl of my dreams cheating on me. The pain you caused has left me dead inside.” Funny how hearing this from her has me feeling as gutted as when I’d walked in to see my girl with someone else. Instant punch in the stomach. 

“He swore it was over. He begged. He was my Jason again. I foolishly believed him. Things got better. At least that’s what I told myself and tried to make myself believe. He’d been my best friend and the person I wanted to be with for my entire life. We had plans for kids and owning his own restaurant. We were back to the couple everyone wanted to be. When I really needed him he let me down in the worst way possible. He’d never really ended it with her, which I didn’t find out until I ended it with him. They were married a month after our divorce was final. I hear he cheats on her now.”

Something had changed. I knew something very important about this beautiful women in my bed. It’s not that she wants nothing, it’s that she’s scared to death to want anything. She thought she had it, but had been wrong, which is even worse than having it and losing it. Everything had been built on a manipulation and he’d broken her. It was time to speak, “Now you’ve reclaimed the vibrant fun girl you chipped away and you protect her.” She nodded. I got this. "You can’t be hurt again if you let no one in. You’re like one of those Cadberry cream eggs: all gooey and soft on the inside with a delicious protective coating.”

She laughed and I appreciated the beauty of her eyes. “You’re truly adorable.” My ridiculous metaphor had earned me a kiss. I like kisses. “What will you do with this new knowledge?”

There’s a good question. She trusted me with the knowledge that there is good stuff being protected by her. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she’s afraid of my answer. “You’ve got to respect the protective coating. It’s there for a reason. Without it the yummy sweet stuff would be ruined.” Although she’d never admit it, I am sure that my mother’s behavior today had hurt her. She’d been judged for something very painful that happened to her. I’m trapped between pissed at mom and being thankful because without her behavior I wouldn’t know all this. “I’m very sorry for my mom today.”

Kristin shook her head, “She’s just protecting her son. She doesn’t want him hurt. It’s really ok, but I thought you deserved an explanation.”

“Not sure I deserved anything, but I appreciate it.” 

“Maybe what this twenty five year old divorcee sees in you is a man who is more caring of someone who is nothing to him than the one she was supposed to be everything to.”

Shit. Some of the gooey sweet stuff is leaking out of the shell. I pulled her in close and kissed her head, “Thank you, but I disagree that you’re nothing to me. Undefined, but not nothing.”

The next day we went back to London and spent the weekend having a blast. We laughed, played, partied, and had a lot of sex. Things felt different. I knew why she had a hard coating and she knew that she was safe with me, that I’d protect it . . . her. Here’s something else I knew. As much as I enjoyed the outside of the Cadberry egg, I loved the sweet stuff in the middle more.


End file.
